you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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