i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
