Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
