I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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