As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
