Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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