I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
