I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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