i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
