my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
