please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
