Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
