her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
