Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
