I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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