Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
