i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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