im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
