I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize