John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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