I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
