Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
