Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
