well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
