do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
