i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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