Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
