Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
