it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
