She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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