She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do you have feelings for this penis?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
