Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
