I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I looked at my own cervix.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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