Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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