just tell him i said nine months
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
