The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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