It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
