Your mouth is God's brothel.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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