You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're a waste of cheezeits
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
