i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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