...so i touched it.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
