This dress was meant to end up on your floor
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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