I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
where does the pee come out of this thing
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
