hotel room ftw
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
