i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
