mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
