i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
