I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
