Im at strip club and am horny
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
