I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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