therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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