She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
