if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
