I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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