apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
