The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
