Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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