Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
