dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
