im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
