You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
